How to Help Children Deal with Separation and Divorce

How to Help Children Deal with Separation and DivorcePhoto by Mike Scheid on Unsplash

A separation is always stressful and if there are kids involved, they should always be of paramount importance and if a separation is badly handled, it could have serious consequences for the kids. Emotions must be kept in control, especially when the children are around and in the event you and your partner have decided to end the relationship, you both need to sit down and plan how you intend to introduce this to your children.

Constant Reassurance

This is what your children need at this time and it is important that both you and your partner are united in their presence. If the separation occurs at the same time as the child is to enter an early learning centre, there is affordable day care Melbourne parents trust and this will certainly brighten up your child’s day. Both you and your partner must constantly reassure the child that you both love them and nothing really is changing and by focusing on the positive side of the arrangement (the trips and outings with dad) your child is more likely to accept the change in his or her life.

No Blame Attached

It is vital that the children understand that they are in no way to blame for the separation, and sometimes, they come to this conclusion by themselves, so it is very important that they do not feel in any way responsible for the separation. Whenever you are together in their company, it is important there is no negative atmosphere between you, as children pick up on this. It isn’t always the case where separation is mutually acceptable, but whatever your feelings, the welfare of the children must come first. You can find useful guides on how to aid the transition for kids in a divorce online.

Keep Routine Change to a Minimum

The more the child’s routine changes, the harder it is to accept and with regular visits from the estranged partner, the child will not feel the routine he or she is used to has been affected too much and by focusing on the positive and being completely open about things, your child will handle the change better. If you are living with the children and your partner used to read to them at bedtime, you could pick this up, at least for a while, which maintains a routine.

Remain Positive

It is essential that both you and your partner stay positive and upbeat in the presence of the children, and no matter how hard that might be, you owe it to the young ones, whose lives have been drastically changed. Children can sense negative emotions and any underlying tension will be noticed, so you both need to iron that out in advance, if the need be.


Having a varied daily routine helps and when your child is due to be collected from the day care centre, your partner can find time to help with this, bringing them together more often, while also relieving you of the task.


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